Temptation.

I hate temptation, yet I set myself up for it all the time. I don't know why I'm so stupid but I am. Idleness is my worst enemy. Well, idleness alone is the worst.

God must be so disappointed in me. The Holy Spirit is always saying, "Hey, don't do that; you know what will happen," and I'm like, "No I got it." Or worse, I ignore it. Or even worse I say, "Leave me alone, I can do what I want." And those the four little words make the world's biggest lie, "It's no big deal."

Really? I say that? Really? I tell the omniscient God of the universe that my going directly against what he is telling me is no big deal. Really? That's about all I can say.

I just don't get why I let myself be mislead so easily. A little whisper in my ear is all it takes. Yeah, Satan is really good at what he does but I can't blame him. He can't make me do anything. He can lead me to that poisoned water but he cannot make me drink from it. He can lie to me and say it's sugar water, or in my case it's Mountain Dew (and that's why it's green). But he can't make me drink it.

So no matter how much I want to point my fingers and say the lie "but Satan made me do it!", I still choose to do it. I let myself be convinced that I want it. I drink the poison. I cup my own hands into the water, lift them to my mouth, and drink from them. And sometimes I even ask Satan to get me a cup so I can fill myself up on poison. Satan didn't grab my hands; he didn't open my mouth. No, all he did was tell me lies. Lies that I knew where lies, but told myself they weren't.

I know what I'm was doing. I know it is wrong. But I don't care. And that's the problem.